A Could Be
by Cerih
Summary: The Doctor seeks solace from the pain of regeneration by allowing himself to see a future that could have been. Doctor/Rose.


Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who

Author's note: I realise this is quite similar to the John Smith and Joan future in The Family of Blood, but I felt this story deserved to be told nevertheless. Reviews are much appreciated.

A Could Be

"I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be."

"That's what I see. All the time."

######

The Doctor laid Rose gently down on the floor of the control room and quickly set the co-ordinates for Earth. The burning pain began in his belly, radiating out in pulses of agony. The Doctor brushed a hand over his eyes which were filled with sadness. He thought of all the things he had wanted to show Rose, all the places he had intended to take her. But he never, for one moment, regretted saving her, even if it did mean losing this daft old body he had grown so accustomed to. For her, it was all worth it.

As another wave of pain pulsed through him, he knew he did not have long left, but he did not want to change while Rose was still unconscious. He wanted and needed to say goodbye to her. So, to take his mind off the pain, he allowed himself to indulge in a little fantasy. For just this once, he allowed himself to see a could be, a future for him and Rose.

He would not be dying, but rather would fly them back to Earth to Rose's time. He would then go through an agonising process to trap his Time Lord essence in a special fob watch, becoming human to give Rose one shared lifetime of happiness together. He would be everything she ever wanted or needed, because that was how much he loved her.

He would work as an astrophysicist, just to have something mildly interesting as a job. Rose would spend some time decided what she actually wanted to do with her life and then train as a nursery school teacher. She would be brilliant at it, with all the children absolutely adoring her. They would eat chips together and he would finally have to endure Jackie's shepherd's pie.

They would go for a walk in the park at sunset and pause to admire the view, hand in hand. He would turn to face her and gently brush some of her hair off her face. She would smile as he stroked her cheek with uncertain finger and he would then lean in to kiss her. Her lips would be soft against his, the kiss warm and tentative at first. He would pull her closer and she would melt against her, sighing contently into the kiss. Being enveloped by her scent and her arms would be heaven for him.

Later, they would lie entwined on the bed, with only a sheet covering them. He would stroke her soft skin and she would offer him one of her most radiant smiles. Unable to be silent for a moment longer, he would lean closer and whisper to her: "I love you." Her eyes would be full of happiness as she repeated the words and they would get lost in their closeness and the kisses once more.

They would buy a little house together, out in the country, with a little garden for them to tend to together. A year later, they would stand before Rose's family and their friends to declare their love for one another and seal their marriage with a kiss that was full of love. He would feel the luckiest man in the universe and him saying so would make her smile with that beautiful smile that was reserved for him alone. Even Mickey the Idiot could not annoy him, not when Rose had just become his wife.

Then there would be the little girl, as beautiful as her mother. He would often remark that the baby was lucky to have not inherited her father's ears. Rose would be a perfect mother and seeing how much happiness he had been able to give her would make him brush away a stray tear. They would cherish their daughter, and the son that followed some years later, and he could never imagine a better life than being domestic with Rose and their children.

Even years later, when they had grown old and grey together, he would still think that Rose was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. Their love would still be as radiant as in the beginning, with the added depth of decades spent together. He would watch Rose cradle their latest grandchild in her arms and she would look up at him with that knowing smile of hers. He would swell with pride, knowing that he had been able to give her everything she had ever desired in life, just like she had done to him. Giving up his regenerations would be a small price to pay for a lifetime with Rose.

Inevitably, there would be death. He, being the older, would succumb first, dying in the arms of his beloved wife. Despite Rose's overwhelming grief, she would spend the rest of her days cherishing the memories they had made. She would know, just has he had, how blessed they had been to have such a long, beautiful life with one another, with no regrets. She would also know with absolutely certainty that she would soon be with him again. She would fall asleep the final time, grateful for all that life and the Doctor had given her.

As the Doctor became aware of the pain once more, a single tear rolled down his cheek. He smiled, wiping it away, knowing this was a could be he would always treasure within his hearts. From the corner of his eye he saw Rose shift on the floor and he jumped up, concentrating on the instruments once more. The pain was getting worse and he knew that the time for goodbyes was here.


End file.
